“When Grief and Dogs Collide: Healing Together”

(for clients navigating grief—of a loved one or pet—while also caring for a struggling dog).

There are moments in life when pain feels like it’s closing in from all directions. Grieving the loss of a loved one—whether human or animal—can be utterly consuming. But when you're also caring for a dog who’s struggling, anxious, reactive, or unsettled, the weight of it all can feel impossible to carry.

You may find yourself pulled in two directions—needing space to fall apart, while being called to hold everything together for your dog.And that can feel desperately unfair.

But you’re not alone.

The Invisible Struggle

Grief is invisible, and so is the quiet heartbreak of dealing with a dog who’s struggling. Few see the work you’re doing—how you get up, day after day, to walk, feed, and care for a dog who may not be easy to live with. You may feel guilty that you’re not “doing enough,” or that you’re not emotionally present in your dog’s training or care.

But here's something important: just showing up is enough. Your dog doesn’t need perfection. They need your presence. They need to know you're still there, even if you’re broken and quiet and full of tears.

How Dogs Respond to Our Grief

Dogs are finely attuned to our emotional world. They notice the shift in our energy, the slowing of our steps, the sadness in our voices. For a dog already struggling with anxiety or behaviour issues, your grief can ripple through them too.

But this isn’t something to blame yourself for. It’s not your fault. You are doing your best—both of you are—and this is where something tender and extraordinary can happen.

You can heal together.

Small Moments, Shared Healing

There is no pressure to “fix” your dog or yourself right now. Healing doesn’t come in giant leaps—it comes in tiny moments. A quiet sit on the sofa together. A soft touch. A walk where you both pause and just breathe.

Let go of big training goals and instead focus on connection. Let your time together be a kind of sanctuary, even if it’s not perfect. Especially if it’s not perfect.

When You Feel Like You’re Failing

You might have days when you snap, or when you can’t face another walk, or when you just cry and cry and your dog looks at you with confusion or even avoidance. That’s okay. You're not failing. You’re simply human, and hurting.

If you need to, ask for help—from friends, family, professionals, or a behaviourist who understands that you and your dog are a team, and both of you matter.

There is Hope

In time, the sharp edges of grief will soften. You may even find that your dog, who once seemed so fragile or reactive, has changed—because you changed together. Through the pain, you forged a deeper bond. Not despite the hard days, but because of them.

And one day, you may look at your dog and realise that in your darkest time, they were the one who helped you survive.

You don’t have to be okay to be loved.You don’t have to be strong to keep going.And you don’t have to do this alone.

If you're struggling, and your dog is too, know that I see you. I understand. This is what I do—not just work with dogs, but walk alongside the humans who love them, especially when life is hard.

With heart, Avril thedogcalmer

🐾 avril@thedogcalmer.com🐾 07505 277374