When the Fighting Stopped: Listening to What the Dogs Were Really Saying

From the heart of thedogcalmer – real lives, real dogs, real calm

3 Bulldogs

A family reached out recently, exhausted and emotionally drained. They lived with three Bulldogs, all siblings from the same litter—two girls and a boy—just turned one year old. What had once been a fun, bouncy bundle of puppy energy had started to unravel. The dogs, once inseparable, were now fighting. Not over toys or food—but tension that the family couldn’t quite understand.

They’d tried everything. Separate feeding, more walks, even behaviour advice from online groups. Still, the aggression between the girls seemed to worsen by the week.

From the start, the family believed one of the girl Bulldogs must be “the boss.” She was the most vocal, the most demanding, always pushing to the front, always the first to grab attention. So they treated her accordingly—letting her lead, letting her take the prime spots, feeding her first in an attempt to ease the pressure.

But the fighting continued.

When I came to meet them, I didn’t offer quick fixes. Firstly I listened to the people, what they were seeing and believing about their dogs, what they knew helped me understand them and the dogs, as for the dogs, I just watched. Observed the space. The movement. The glances between them. And what I saw was something very different from what they’d assumed.

It wasn’t the demanding girl who was in charge.

It was their quieter boy—significantly bigger than his sisters, but more reserved, more thoughtful. He wasn’t trying to dominate, but he carried a calm energy that dogs instinctively respond to. He had presence. Quiet authority. And the girls, though louder and seemingly more forward, were actually unsettled because the natural order had been tipped out of balance.

Dogs don’t choose their leaders based on noise, or pushiness. They follow calm confidence. And when we humans accidentally elevate the wrong dog in the group—often the one shouting the loudest—we can cause friction without meaning to.

I gently guided the family to make subtle changes: acknowledging the male more, feeding him first, giving him space to lead without interference. No drama. No punishment. Just clarity.

The change? Almost instant.

The girls relaxed. The tension melted away. That very night, they lay peacefully side-by-side—a sight the family hadn’t seen in weeks.

Albert

Sometimes behaviour problems aren’t really problems. They’re communication. And when we learn to listen—not just with our ears, but with our understanding—we can change everything.

This is the heart of behaviour work. It’s not about dominance. It’s not about control. It’s about harmony. And every dog, every family, deserves that calm.

If you’re living with multiple dogs and feeling overwhelmed, you're not alone. These situations can feel hopeless—but they’re not. With the right guidance, peace is absolutely possible.

🐾Reach out to thedogcalmer for gentle, professional support.📲 Call or message: +447505277374📧 Email: avril@thedogcalmer.com🌐 www.thedogcalmer.com

Let’s work together to bring understanding, balance, and calm back into your home. One paw at a time.