Are We Creating Anxious Dogs Without Realising It?
- Avril Munson
- 22 hours ago
- 3 min read
How our modern lifestyles may be making calm dogs a rarity
We love our dogs more than ever. We give them the best food, the cosiest beds, the longest walks, and endless affection. But what if, in our eagerness to do right by them, we are quietly fuelling the very behaviours we dread — anxiety, over-excitement, and stress?
The Myth of the “Tired Dog Is a Good Dog”
You’ve probably heard it: “A tired dog is a good dog.” Many owners take this to mean their dog needs more exercise, more play, more stimulation.
But tired doesn’t always mean calm. Just as an over-tired toddler is more likely to have a meltdown, an over-tired dog can become anxious, restless, and reactive. Calmness doesn’t come from exhaustion — it comes from balance.
The biggest cause for excessive play biting in young puppies is tiredness!
The Busy Dog, The Busy Home
Our lives are faster than ever. Work schedules, school runs, visitors, noisy devices — our homes rarely rest. Dogs are sensitive beings; they absorb our energy. If the rhythm of the house is rush, rush, rush, it’s no wonder so many dogs struggle to relax.
You may recognise the dog who never really settles, who barks at the slightest sound, or paces long after a walk. Owners believe the dog didn't have a long enough walk when they behave this way, when in fact the opposite is true.
They’re not “naughty” — they’re simply living in constant overdrive.
Accidental Lessons We Teach
We don’t mean to, but often we reward the very behaviours we wish would stop. Stroking a dog that is jumping, laughing when they dash madly around, hyping them up before a walk — all of these moments send a clear message: excitement gets attention.
Routines can play a part too. If “walkies!” always comes at 6pm, the dog will start pacing at 5:30. If the ball always comes out in the field, they’ll demand it every time. Anticipation itself becomes stressful.
And dogs are the masters of anticipation of predicting what comes next!
The Forgotten Art of Doing Nothing
Dogs need practice at rest. Just as children benefit from quiet time, dogs need to learn the skill of settling. It’s not enough to hope they’ll “switch off” after a big day.
Sometimes the most valuable thing we can do is… nothing. Sit with a coffee and let the dog lie quietly by your feet. Teach them that calm earns rewards too. Give them a safe place to curl up, without pressure to be “on.” For many dogs, if you continue to stroke and fuss them in these moments they still won't relax they thing you want more from them.
Signs Your Dog May Be Over-Stimulated
Pacing or constant movement
Whining, barking, or demanding attention
Struggling to rest even after long walks
Over-reacting to small triggers, like the doorbell or another dog
Finding it hard to be left alone
These are not bad behaviours. They are signals of stress.
Small Shifts That Make a Big Difference
Swap one “fast” walk for a slow walk — it works the brain more than the legs, don't follow your dog, change direction a lot without really going anywhere new.
Vary your routines so your dog learns flexibility.
Practise calm exercises: Settling, calming stroking, when training reward your dog for being still, as in the down exercise, stay calm and reward for staying down. Introduce this to other exercises.
Keep your own energy steady. Dogs mirror us more than we realise.
Teach “settle” as a daily habit, not just a command in class.
The Heart of It All
We don’t set out to create anxious dogs. We set out to love them. But real love is not just about giving them more, more, more. It’s about giving them what they truly need — the space, the calm, and the quiet to feel safe in their own skin.
So pause for a moment this week. Notice your dog. Do they really rest? Or are they always waiting for the next thing? Sometimes the kindest gift you can give your dog is not another walk, not another toy, but the simple lesson of how to be still.
If you need help to create more calm don't hesitate to contact me!
Your Calm Dog Journey Starts Now
Avril thedogcalmer
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